Mother's Little Helper

Usually eaten in the basement, after the kids are in bed.

A few of my favorite things...

(Charlotte, you can copy this for your game if you want to, but I think it's way too easy. :-)

You may have seen or heard of "The Mom Song" by Anita Renfroe. If you haven't, check it out here on YouTube. (This isn't the original--not Anita Renfroe herself, but it's a good version.) It's a song based on what a mom says in 24 hours, condensed into two minutes. Trust me, it's hilarious.

The other day my good friend Kathie introduced me to a couple of similar songs by LDS singer/songwriter Hillary Weeks. Check this one out, also on YouTube:

"To Do List"

And my favorite:

"My Favorite Things"

I love it! I giggle every time I hear it! Bedtime and naptime and naptime and bedtime... :-)
Thanks Kathie!

SAHM

Okay, I think maybe I've been coming across as a whiner lately. So it's time to clear up a few things.

First things first. Although I have had my moments (okay, hours, maybe days) of feeling like Cinderella lately, and would welcome a fairy godmother with a magic wand, I am not without a handsome prince. Jeff takes care of me and believes in me and loves me in spite of my weaknesses. He is a great dad for our boys, he works hard for us, AND he cooks delicious dinners on a regular basis, just to name a few things. I am lucky to be married to him and to have him for my best friend.

Second, I love being a stay-at-home mom. Like any other job or occupation, it has it's frustrations (thus my whining), but I am grateful that I am able to stay at home, and given a choice, I wouldn't have it any other way. My family is my most important priority, and I can't imagine me, with the limitations I know I have, trying to juggle anything else right now, however worthy or fulfilling it may be. Also, I believe, as President Ezra Taft Benson and other prophets have counseled, that mothers should be at the crossroads. I know that if I went out and got a job, my kids would not automatically become juvenile delinquents. I trust, however, that they will be blessed and I will be blessed for staying home with them.

I visit teach another stay-at-home mom with a very large family. Her oldest two sons are on missions right now, and her youngest is not quite two years old. Just yesterday she was telling me how she's received some compliments lately about how calm and patient she is with her younger children. And she realizes she is more calm and patient with them than she was with her older children when they were young, because she has a different perspective. She can see now that how she raised her older children worked. She's getting some of the payoff. And she probably knows better what didn't work. I suppose I'm a little envious of that, but the older I get the more grateful I am for the process of learning from our experiences. She's just a few years ahead of me in the mothering experience. Anyway, the point is, I can't see right now what difference it might make that I am a stay-at-home mom. But I'm trying to do what I know I am supposed to do, despite the frustrations, and I'm trusting that somewhere down the road I will see some of the payoff too.

Yes, Ruth, it's high time for an update...

...but here's why I haven't gotten around to one lately:

Oct. 31--Halloween
2 weeks later--Dallin's birthday
2 weeks later--Adam's birthday & Thanksgiving
3 weeks later--Ryan's birthday
4 days later--our anniversary
3 days later--Christmas
1 week later--New Year's
3 days later--Ryan's baptism
1 week later--my birthday

And that doesn't include Christmas parties and choir concerts and pack meetings and presidency meetings and shopping and visiting teaching and laundry and cleaning and decorating and baking and dishes and grocery shopping and, sigh, all the rest. Oh, I realize that many of these big family events at this time of the year are mostly my own doing, but it's a little late to change any of them. :-) (What was I thinking?!) So look for more blogging from me in January, maybe, when I can breathe again. I do have some things that have been on my mind to blog about, when I get around to it. Here's a teaser you can ponder until I get my thoughts written down: How do you lose yourself in service, without losing yourself?

Who is the craziest...

Sarah Palin for accepting the job of running for Vice-President? Or John McCain for choosing her? I think I have to vote for her as being most out of her mind. Don't get me wrong. She appears to be a very amazing and down-to-earth woman who may be able to do great things for America if she's given the chance. She appears to be a good choice for McCain. I have nothing against women being involved in politics. In fact, I think politics and government could use a lot more female influence. And in some ways it's kind of nice to think of someone with a mother's perspective being in such a position of leadership. That being said, I have a really hard time imagining how in the world she can do the job well AND be a good mom to five children, four of whom are still minors and the youngest being a four-month-old with Down's Syndrome. That just BLOWS MY MIND!!! I don't care how intelligent she is, or how capable she is, or how supportive her husband is, or how little sleep she needs. She is still a human being with 24 hours in each day, just like the rest of us. I'm not trying to be judgmental here. I am not saying she should just stay home and take care of her children. And I'm not questioning her abilities as a mom or as a leader, just her SANITY!

Are you ready to ramble?!

Have you ever sat down to blog and found yourself reading everyone else's blogs and never getting around to posting your own? Happens to me on almost a daily basis.

When we moved here, I consciously gave myself six months to get settled, get involved, start making friends, etc. Well, my six months were up in February, and I was still feeling lonely and isolated. I figured that had to be at least partially my fault, so I started taking some extra steps--inviting people over for dinner, applying for the public library board, organizing a playgroup, etc. And now all of a sudden it seems like life is busy again. (Not that I was ever bored--there are always chores to do.) The playgroup is happening one morning a week (although the weather hasn't been cooperative so we haven't had great participation). I was selected to be on the library board and attended my first board meeting this month. I was released as a Primary teacher and called as the Primary secretary and as a Cub Scout Wolf Den Leader with Jeff. Adam's baseball season started--two practices or games each week. (Ahh, you probably didn't even realize you were missing out on baseball posts, did you? :-) Being busy and involved is good for me. I'm getting to know people and I don't have much time to mope around (or to blog). But I have to admit, there have been moments lately when I've missed those empty days on the calendar.

Mother's Day came and went. I had a good one. Jeff and the boys gave me a bicycle trailer and five bars of German chocolate. Adam and Ryan also gave me the requisite homemade gifts they made at school--poems, cards, coupon books--good stuff. Jeff made a yummy dinner and Adam and Ryan helped him clean up. I played games with the kids and did some thinking about how grateful I am to be a mom and how grateful I am for the moms in my life--my mother and my mother-in-law in particular. Motherhood has been on my mind lately anyway. The other day it occurred to me that I do so much for my kids that no else would ever do. And it's not so important what those things are as it is that they have someone who loves them that much. I am not a perfect mother, but I do love my boys and I consider it a privilege to be able to use my time and energy to take care of them. I pray every day for help to be a better mother and to raise them well.

When I thought of how much I do for my kids, that led to new thoughts and realizations about how much my mother has done for me. Having kids has helped me better understand the love and sacrifice she gave me and my brothers and sisters. Adam is in his first baseball league where the kids pitch to each other. He hasn't pitched in a game yet, but I don't know how I'll handle it if he does. It is painful to watch the pitchers try their hardest just to get the ball across the plate. Sometimes they succeed, but most of the time they don't. My emotions fluctuate with every pitch, good and bad. And they aren't even my kid! My mom was the pitcher's mom for two of the seasons I played Little League. In some ways I'm sorry I put her through that. I don't know how she did it.

In other news, Dallin turned 18 months old this week. Sometimes I find myself wishing my life away. For the most part I think that is a bad habit and a foolish (albeit easy) thing to do. However, I think it is perfectly acceptable to count down and wish away the months and days until a toddler gets to go to nursery for two of the three hours of church every Sunday. Nursery makes moms and dads and toddlers so much happier on the Sabbath. Well, my toddlers at least. I know some have separation anxiety and don't do so well in nursery. I count it as a huge blessing that I am four for four on having my kids easily and happily go to nursery. Yay!

School is out in two weeks. That means I have two weeks to find a way to keep everyone from driving each other crazy all summer. I have these grand ideas of a Summer Plan, with a capital "P," that involves reading, practicing math and spelling, chores, setting and reaching goals, minimal TV, fun family activities, spending time together in the great outdoors, etc., etc. The motto of this wonderful plan will be: "Work hard, play hard." In that order. I am, however, trying to be realistic about my chances of getting anyone else to actually buy into my Summer Plan. I'm am fairly certain that I am going to have to settle for a summer plan, with a small "p." And I have two weeks to figure it out. Wish me luck. :-)

Calgon, take me away!

I had one of those mornings that may very well ruin the rest of the day. I haven't gotten over it yet anyway, and it's almost noon. There's no point in reliving the whole story, but suffice it to say that at the very moment my two oldest boys were supposed to be catching the carpool to school, all four boys were crying for four very different reasons. And only the baby's tears were justified--he was hungry. I lost it. I yelled and sent the older ones off to school in tears. Their teachers probably think we're dysfunctional, not to mention the other carpool mom. (But then they have young children too, so maybe they'd understand if I bothered to explain, which I'm not going to do.)

I keep wondering why I get the blame when things are chaotic, and why I get little or no credit when things go smoothly. I love my boys, but I'm frustrated and discouraged and if I wasn't related to these kids I think it would take a six figure income to make it worth my trouble and stress and worry and everything else!

For a long time now I've felt like one of my biggest weaknesses and the thing I need to work on the most is not losing my patience and my temper with my kids. I keep trying, but I don't feel like I'm making any progress. Just telling myself that I've got to stop yelling sure isn't working. The thing is, I think my kids are fairly well-behaved, and I like to think I'm a fairly patient person too. But maybe I'm deceiving myself on one count or the other.

Well, maybe now I've gotten it off my chest enough to go do the laundry. Here's wishing you a better day than mine!

A day in the life...

Sometimes at the end of the day I have to stop and think about what I've done, just to give myself credit for actually accomplishing something.

So here's today:

4 a.m.
Adam woke up and crawled into bed with us because he had a bad dream.

4:30 a.m.
Woke up to Dallin crying--stuck the binky back in and it worked. We both went back to sleep.

5 a.m.
Alarm goes off because Jeff needed to get up early to write a test. I roll over and go back to sleep.

5:45 a.m.
Woke up again and decided not to get up and do yoga at 6 a.m., since I feel like I'm coming down with a cold.

7:05 a.m.
Rolled out of bed, woke up Adam and Ryan, and started the morning routine. Put cereal on the table for breakfast, fixed three lunches, tried not to nag the boys too much to get their clothes on and get ready for school. Looked unsuccessfully for gloves for Adam to wear--it's chilly in the mornings.

7:45 a.m.
Sent Jeff and Adam out the door on their bikes to school. Adam has choir before school on Wednesdays and Fridays.

8:15 a.m.
Sent Ryan out to walk to school with the neighborhood kids. Got Jared out of bed and started him on cereal. Got Dallin up, changed him, and nursed him.

Morning
Helped Jared get dressed. Folded laundry. Unloaded the dishwasher, reloaded the dishwasher, washed pots and pans by hand. Fed Dallin some cereal and fruit. Put him down for a nap. Finished cleaning the kitchen. Took a shower while Jared watched PBS. Moved eleven boxes from the living room to the basement. Moved two boxes from the living room to bedrooms. Unpacked one box. (I'm hoping to have the upstairs settled by Christmas. The basement could take years still.) Dried and curled my hair. Changed a couple more diapers and helped Jared use the bathroom several times. He's not quite completely toilet-trained. (Last night he was saying the prayer for dinner: "Heavenly Father, thank you for the food. Wait, I need to go to the restroom first." I almost fell off my chair trying not to laugh while I told him to finish the prayer first, which he did, then ran to the bathroom.)

Afternoon
Warmed up leftovers for lunch. Fed Dallin some veggies and applesauce. Loaded up the kids in the van and mailed some letters at the post office. Spent $125 on food storage items at the Macey's caselot sale. (The empty shelves in our food storage room and in our new freezer have been begging to feel useful.) Got a workout hefting 20 lb. bags of rice and cases of canned goods. Got home just in time to put the case of frozen orange juice in the mostly empty freezer before putting Dallin and Jared in the jogging stroller to go pick up the neighborhood kids at school. (I take turns with four other moms in the neighborhood. It's a pretty good system.) Gave the kids a snack, then forced them to turn off the TV and go to the library with me. Fed Dallin one more time before we left. Herded four kids through the public library for 30 minutes. Returned home, put Dallin down for a nap, and let the kids go play. Sat down on the couch to read the Ensign magazine that came in the mail.

Evening
Fixed burritos for dinner so we could try out the brand of refried beans that are available at the caselot sale before we buy a whole case of inferior refried beans. Ate dinner, then fed Dallin again. Cleaned up the dishes and kitchen again while Jeff played computer games with the boys. Swept the kitchen floor. (I'm still not sure I like the hardwood floor. It looks really nice, but seems to take more time to clean than linoleum or carpet.) Did the whole bedtime routine and got the bigger kids in bed--late, it's Friday. Sat down to watch TV with Jeff while I nursed Dallin. Put Dallin to bed. Got the modem reset and the DSL reconnected after Dallin pulled the phone line out of the wall. Blogged all of this just for the fun of it. Headed to bed about midnight so I can get up and do it all again tomorrow. Isn't life wonderful?!

Overscheduled vs. Bored

So Ryan and Adam both wanted to play soccer this fall. Ryan was particularly looking forward to it. I printed the registration forms for one league off the Internet back in August, but since it wasn't a city-sponsored league, I wanted to get to our neighborhood and check with other moms to see if their kids played in it before we signed up. So this weekend I finally figured out that it is the league that most kids around here play in. Unfortunately though, I waited too long, the league is halfway through the fall season, and they aren't accepting late registrations at this point. Ryan is so disappointed and I feel really bad.

I feel bad that Ryan's disappointed, but I also feel bad that it's my fault that my kids aren't involved in anything yet. I really don't want to be one of those parents who overschedules their kids with teams and lessons and classes, etc., etc. Doing just baseball in the spring for the last two years made our evening family schedule just crazy. I don't know how parents with more kids, or with kids involved in more activities, do it all.

On the other hand, I want my kids to have the opportunity to try different activities and have the experiences of playing on teams and learning to play musical instruments and all that good stuff. They were an important part of my childhood. And when my boys aren't involved in anything, they watch TV and play video games constantly, and still complain about being BORED. Aaaagh! How do I find a happy medium?! So now I'm thinking about signing them up for a karate class at the rec center....

Boys, Boxes, and Busy-ness

I know my life is busy when what I really want to do is blog or read a book or take a nap rather than doing all that needs to be done. Along with all the normal cooking and cleaning and home management, the kids naturally want Mommy to entertain them constantly now that school is out. I have yet to figure out how summer vacation can be so booooooring. The first week was rough, but I persevered and we at least got into a good morning routine--breakfast, chores, reading, and math or spelling practice--all before we go to swimming lessons at 10:30. They don't grumble about it hardly at all anymore. One thing that is working pretty well is giving them a short list of chores to choose from. I make the list--things that I really need or want done that they are capable of doing--and the older boys each have to pick one. It goes much better when they've chosen what they will do than when I assign something. Even Jared (age 3) is figuring out what morning chores are about. It's fun to see him so excited about helping one of his brothers wash the dishes. So mornings are good, but don't ask about afternoons....

And as if all the normal stuff isn't enough, I started packing boxes a couple weeks ago in preparation for our move, which is just a couple of weeks away now. I've been trying to sort through, throw out, and pack things in the afternoons while Jared and Dallin nap. (Jared is ready to give up naps, but since he doesn't fight them too much, I'm hanging on to them as long as I can--at least until we move.) That means Adam and Ryan spend an awful lot of time in front of movies or video games. Oh well, the mornings aren't a waste. I sometimes feel guilty about not playing with them more, but I just can't entertain and get ready to move at the same time. I've tried paying them to help me pack at the rate of 25 cents a box. That worked okay when we were packing books, which were pretty straightforward, but hasn't lasted as I've moved on to other things. Speaking of boxes of books, we are up to 24 Xerox boxes full, and that's not quite all of them. We aren't called Packers for nothing! Yes, we have a few books, but at least the boxes are easy to stack when it comes time to load the truck. Built-in bookcases will definitely be on the "nice to have" list when we get to the house-hunting stage. Anyway, if I don't post again anytime soon, you'll know I'm just up to my gills in cardboard.