Charlotte! What are you reading?!!!*

I hear birds singing. My lilacs are blooming. My lawn needs mowing. My seasonal allergies are in full swing. But I woke up this morning, May 24th, to this:


I hope my tomato plants don't freeze.

*The last time I complained about the weather, my friend Charlotte blogged me an apology, taking blame because she had been reading The Long Winter, by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I told her she needed to finish it quickly and find a warmer book to read. Charlotte, you've got some fast talking to do to get yourself out of this one. :-)

To Do, and To Become

It's obvious that I haven't had the blogging mojo going lately. Can't say why exactly. Maybe it's just that it's sometimes difficult to pause life long enough to record and examine it. And sometimes it's easier to just do what has to be done without thinking about it too much. Here's a snapshot of what's on my mind at the moment though.

I am a list person. I'm fairly certain it's genetic, from my dear dad. I just feel more organized, more efficient, and less afraid of forgetting something important if (almost) everything is written down. I also like crossing things off when I've accomplished them. I've been known to do something that isn't on my list, then write it on just so I can cross it off. I know, it's neurotic. I've considered trying to break the habit more than once, but the payoff hasn't seemed big enough yet.

Unusual items (as in I don't do these things EVERY week) on my list for this week include--finishing up a grant application for our public library (hoping to get funding for a new building), volunteering at the kids' school for Field Day, getting bids for the garage and bonus room we want to build this summer, preparing next Sunday's Sharing Time for Primary, signing Ryan and Jared up for rec soccer, and trying to figure out how to keep the kids entertained over the long Memorial Day weekend since we don't have any particular plans.

I've also started a mental list of other lists & things I need to be thinking about (See that? A list of lists even. I'm hopeless!)--a list of fun activities to do with the kids this summer, a list of summer menu ideas, a list of summer projects, a plan for the flower beds in my front yard, and a plan for summer chores. I wish I was making lists of books I want to read and pictures I want to take. Those kinds of things just get squeezed into the cracks these days. Actually, I do have a list on Goodreads of books I want to read, but that is like a list for life, not just for this summer.

Finding balance is still the object of my existence these days, but I haven't been stressing about it as much. I don't think I'm any more balanced, but I guess I'm realizing that it's a process, and that's okay. I'm becoming more content with where and what I am (at least for the moment), and I'm learning to trust that if I'm keeping the commandments and keeping my priorities in line with the Gospel and the teachings of living prophets, I will have the experiences I need to have to (eventually) become the person Heavenly Father wants me to be, and the person I want to be. It's also been helpful to look around me at women I admire who are farther along the path of life than I am and notice where their priorities are and how they have lived their lives. Not that their lives have been beds of roses, I'm sure, but that they have become amazing women by doing ordinary things like raising families, and by working through ordinary struggles like trying to find balance in their lives.

Grandma Grape

Two weeks ago Jeff's dad called with the news that our dear Grandma Packer had passed away. She was almost 92 and not in great health anymore, but I guess there was a part of me that hoped she would be around for awhile yet. I am not sad that she is with Grandpa again. Nor am I sad that she has been relieved of her mortal body. I have shed a few tears for myself though, because I won't be able to enjoy her association again until the next life. Jared said it best. When I told him that Grandma had passed away and returned to live with Heavenly Father, he said, "Now we won't get to hug her anymore."

Each life that touches ours for good

Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;
Thou sendest blessings from above
Thru words and deeds of those who love.

Grandma was known for her love and acceptance of everyone. It could be safely said that the only person she ever said anything bad about was Kobe Bryant, during a playoff game when the Lakers beat the Jazz a year or two ago. She made each family member feel like they were her favorite child, grandchild, or in-law. During her funeral I realized that I feel a kinship with many of her granddaughters-in-law, not just because we married her grandsons, but because we have her love in common.

What greater gift dost thou bestow,
What greater goodness can we know
Than Christ-like friends, whose gentle ways
Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

One of my favorite memories of Grandma is a time just a few years ago when I was sitting at the bar in my mother-in-law's kitchen with Marilyn (my mother-in-law) and Grandma. We were talking about family members, maybe about a cousin or someone else who was struggling. Grandma's eyes teared up and her voice wavered as she told us how much she loved her kids and her grandkids and her great-grandkids, and what a source of joy they were to her. I was so touched by the love I felt as she expressed her feelings about her family. I don't think I could hope for more than to become a grandma like her, whose family knows what love is because she loved them so much.

When such a friends from us departs,
We hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory,
Bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.

Both of my own grandmothers passed away early in my adulthood. I was close to them during my childhood. I love them and cherish my memories of them. I didn't really ever have an adult relationship with them though. Neither of them got to hold any of my babies or see me as a mother. I am grateful that Grandma Packer was around as I started my family. She means a lot to my children. When Adam was about three years old, Marilyn and I were trying to explain to him the difference between grandparents and great-grandparents. Marilyn told him that Grandma Packer was Grandpa's mom, and his Grandma Great. We thought he understood until he started calling her "Grandma Grape." She has been our Grandma Grape ever since.

For worthy friends whose lives proclaim
Devotion to the Savior's name,
Who bless our days with peace and love,
We praise thy goodness, Lord, above.
(Hymns #293)

Thank you for loving us Grandma Grape. We will miss you.

Another Saturday project

Sometimes I amaze myself. About this time last year, I took it upon myself to build a sandbox for my 2-year-old. It took most of one Saturday, but I did it and I was pretty proud of myself. Yesterday I did it again. The antenna on our roof blew down in a windstorm several days ago. The hardware it was mounted to just completely broke.

We don't have cable or satellite (old-fashioned cheapskates that we are, yes), so this was a crisis. What will we do if we can't watch cartoons?! Jeff wasn't available to fix it, so I knew if it was going to be taken care of, I'd have to do it. My first plan of attack was to try to find a new mounting kit. Ace, Radio Shack, Home Depot, Wal-mart. Nothing. I could buy a whole new antenna with mounting hardware for $70, but why spend the money when the old antenna works just fine? I was getting frustrated by this point, but unwilling to give up. So I climbed back up on the roof to look at the old set-up and headed back to Ace (the helpful hardware place!) to try to find some pieces to make my own mount. $24 of aluminum, nuts and bolts later, I had what I needed. I started measuring and cutting and drilling. It was slow-going and aggravating until Jeff helped me figure out that I needed to reverse the drill. Arrgh! Eight hours later, this is what it looked like:



And this is what my hands looked like:

I can't get it off. I guess aluminum and Gorilla Glue are not a good combination for lovely, feminine looking hands. Any suggestions? Oh well, I'm not vain, and the cartoons work now, so I can stay sane. :-) And so I amaze myself again. The mount is probably no stronger than the original, and it won't last forever, but at least it's not broken. Except another storm is blowing in right now. I think I'll cry if it breaks again.

It's not a tough choice

What's your vote? I say, "See ya later winter!" I am tired of cold. I am tired of wind. I am tired of my furnace clicking on (although I'm glad it does.) It shouldn't snow in May. I want to put away my down comforter. I want to stop wearing coats and jackets. I wouldn't mind the rain, if only it would warm up. I want to mow the lawn and get sunburned. I want to send the kids out to play. I want to sit under my lilac blossoms and soak in some warm and green. I've got hot cocoa mix on my shopping list this week. I will buy it, if that is what it takes to get spring to show up. Does reverse psychology work on the weather? Can we vote winter out of office? Out of season? I need spring!

OR

(Not my photo--borrowed from www.TripodGirl.com)