Grandma Grape

Two weeks ago Jeff's dad called with the news that our dear Grandma Packer had passed away. She was almost 92 and not in great health anymore, but I guess there was a part of me that hoped she would be around for awhile yet. I am not sad that she is with Grandpa again. Nor am I sad that she has been relieved of her mortal body. I have shed a few tears for myself though, because I won't be able to enjoy her association again until the next life. Jared said it best. When I told him that Grandma had passed away and returned to live with Heavenly Father, he said, "Now we won't get to hug her anymore."

Each life that touches ours for good

Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;
Thou sendest blessings from above
Thru words and deeds of those who love.

Grandma was known for her love and acceptance of everyone. It could be safely said that the only person she ever said anything bad about was Kobe Bryant, during a playoff game when the Lakers beat the Jazz a year or two ago. She made each family member feel like they were her favorite child, grandchild, or in-law. During her funeral I realized that I feel a kinship with many of her granddaughters-in-law, not just because we married her grandsons, but because we have her love in common.

What greater gift dost thou bestow,
What greater goodness can we know
Than Christ-like friends, whose gentle ways
Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

One of my favorite memories of Grandma is a time just a few years ago when I was sitting at the bar in my mother-in-law's kitchen with Marilyn (my mother-in-law) and Grandma. We were talking about family members, maybe about a cousin or someone else who was struggling. Grandma's eyes teared up and her voice wavered as she told us how much she loved her kids and her grandkids and her great-grandkids, and what a source of joy they were to her. I was so touched by the love I felt as she expressed her feelings about her family. I don't think I could hope for more than to become a grandma like her, whose family knows what love is because she loved them so much.

When such a friends from us departs,
We hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory,
Bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.

Both of my own grandmothers passed away early in my adulthood. I was close to them during my childhood. I love them and cherish my memories of them. I didn't really ever have an adult relationship with them though. Neither of them got to hold any of my babies or see me as a mother. I am grateful that Grandma Packer was around as I started my family. She means a lot to my children. When Adam was about three years old, Marilyn and I were trying to explain to him the difference between grandparents and great-grandparents. Marilyn told him that Grandma Packer was Grandpa's mom, and his Grandma Great. We thought he understood until he started calling her "Grandma Grape." She has been our Grandma Grape ever since.

For worthy friends whose lives proclaim
Devotion to the Savior's name,
Who bless our days with peace and love,
We praise thy goodness, Lord, above.
(Hymns #293)

Thank you for loving us Grandma Grape. We will miss you.

"A good guy"

Our trip to Idaho was long, but good. We survived the long drive thanks to Cyndi, my friend and lifesaver, who kindly lent us her portable DVD player. Ours died a few months ago. The kids can make the three hour drive to Cedar without it, but the seven hours to Boise would have been ug-ly.

Grandpa Jo's funeral was really nice, a fitting tribute to a good man. Jeff's uncle did a great job with his life sketch, telling some stories and interesting things about Grandpa that I didn't really know, such as how he took pride in his yard and garden, saved lots of things he thought could be useful and often found uses for them, and could fix almost anything. He wasn't ever rich or famous, wasn't a war hero, but he loved his family and always did nice things for them. As Uncle Mark said, he was just "a good guy." I remember Jeff's mom bringing Grandpa and Grandma Jo to visit me in our little basement apartment on University Avenue in Provo about a year-and-a-half after we were married. Jeff had been gone to ROTC Advanced Camp at Fort Lewis, Washington for a long six weeks and was about to come home. I told Grandpa and Grandma Jo about my plans to surprise him with a night in Park City after I picked him up from the airport. Grandpa Jo pulled a twenty dollar bill out of his wallet and gave it to me, with instructions to use it to do something fun with Jeff. That was such a sweet gesture that sticks out in my memory when I think of him. After the dedication of the grave, I took a minute to remind my Ryan that his middle name is Grandpa Jo's name, and that I hope he will grow up to be a good guy like Grandpa Jo was.

We had a nice visit with aunts and uncles and lots of cousins. Every single member of Jeff's mom's family was there. It was a little chaotic, but still so fun to be all together. I am grateful for God's plan of happiness, a plan that makes funerals joyous family reunions rather than mournful tragedies, because we know that through the sacrifice and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we will be with our loved ones in the next life. What a comfort.

While there, I also got to visit with Obara Shimai, one of my Japanese missionary companions, and her family. We went to church with them, and then had dinner at their home afterwards. Her husband was also in my mission, and they have four cute children now. We've stayed in touch over the years, but it was fun to see them again after so long. Kiyomi is the Primary president in their ward, and since I'm also in Primary, I sat in on their Singing Time and Sharing Time. I got a couple ideas for our ward, plus it was fun to see her in action again--her mannerisms and her love for and dedication to the Gospel. I felt a little bit like Alma, happy to know she is still my sister in the Lord. (And now it came to pass that as Alma was journeying from the land of Gideon southward, away to the land of Manti, behold, to his astonishment, he met with the sons of Mosiah journeying towards the land of Zarahemla. Now these sons of Mosiah were with Alma at the time the angel first appeared unto him; therefore Alma did rejoice exceedingly to see his brethren; and what added more to his joy, they were still his brethren in the Lord... Alma 17:1-2).

President Gordon B. Hinckley, 1910-2008

Each time a prophet has passed away, I've felt a sense of loss, but also a sense of comfort that Heavenly Father has a plan for the leadership of the Church and won't leave us without prophetic guidance. And each time I've come to love the new prophet just as much as the previous one. But still, I think we will all miss President Hinckley. He was just so friendly and loving and open. I've always admired the way he could lead and inspire and motivate without seeming to put himself above anybody. Maybe I've felt close to him too because he was close to the same age as my grandfather, who also passed away shortly after Christmas. My grandfather's funeral was not a sad thing, but a wonderful family reunion and a celebration of a great life. I imagine President Hinckley's funeral will be like that too.

"My beloved associates, far more of us need to awake and arouse our faculties to an awareness of the great everlasting truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Each of us can do a little better than we have been doing. We can be a little more kind. We can be a little more merciful. We can be a little more forgiving. We can put behind us our weaknesses of the past, and go forth with new energy and increased resolution to improve the world about us, in our homes, in our places of employment, in our social activities.

We have work to do, you and I, so very much of it. Let us roll up our sleeves and get at it, with a new commitment, putting our trust in the Lord.

Come, come, ye Saints, no toil nor labor fear;
But with joy wend your way.
Though hard to you this journey may appear,
Grace shall be as your day.
(Hymns, 1985, no. 30)

We can do it, if we will be prayerful and faithful. We can do better than we have ever done before."

--President Gordon B. Hinckley, Ensign, May 1995, p. 88

Grandpa Bill, 1915-2007

My mom called early on the 27th to let me know that my Grandpa Bill had passed away. His health had been slowly deteriorating, but for a 92-year-old he wasn't doing too bad. Then over the Thanksgiving weekend he fell and it went fairly quickly downhill after that. I got to visit with him the week after Thanksgiving and he was still sitting up and communicating. He watched my little Dallin playing on the floor and said more than once what good-looking grandkids he had. He joked about how Grandma was taking her time about coming to get him. (She passed away in 1993, so he'd been alone for 14 years.) Just two weeks later when I visited him again he was bedridden and speaking was an effort. But his eyes lit up when I talked about Christmas music and the snow that he could see on the rooftops out his window. He looked so small and frail lying in that bed, and I hoped he wouldn't have to lie there too much longer. He lived a good life, he was a good man, he set a great example of service. I will miss him, but I am not sad. His funeral last week was a wonderful tribute to his life, with memories and stories and testimonies of the resurrection and eternal families. I am so grateful for my heritage, especially the spiritual heritage that has been passed down to me. Because Jesus Christ lived and died for each of us, my grandfather's funeral was not a sad event, but a happy family reunion and a wonderful celebration of his life. If I've got the count right, his six children, 31 of his 36 grandchildren, and several of his 54 (going on 60) great-grandchildren were there. We are all beneficiaries of who and what he was. Love you Grandpa!

My sister, Joy, took the photo of Grandpa's house that he built 67 years ago and lived in until October, and the photo of the swing that has hung in the chestnut tree in the backyard for as long as any of the grandchildren can remember.