To Do, and To Become

It's obvious that I haven't had the blogging mojo going lately. Can't say why exactly. Maybe it's just that it's sometimes difficult to pause life long enough to record and examine it. And sometimes it's easier to just do what has to be done without thinking about it too much. Here's a snapshot of what's on my mind at the moment though.

I am a list person. I'm fairly certain it's genetic, from my dear dad. I just feel more organized, more efficient, and less afraid of forgetting something important if (almost) everything is written down. I also like crossing things off when I've accomplished them. I've been known to do something that isn't on my list, then write it on just so I can cross it off. I know, it's neurotic. I've considered trying to break the habit more than once, but the payoff hasn't seemed big enough yet.

Unusual items (as in I don't do these things EVERY week) on my list for this week include--finishing up a grant application for our public library (hoping to get funding for a new building), volunteering at the kids' school for Field Day, getting bids for the garage and bonus room we want to build this summer, preparing next Sunday's Sharing Time for Primary, signing Ryan and Jared up for rec soccer, and trying to figure out how to keep the kids entertained over the long Memorial Day weekend since we don't have any particular plans.

I've also started a mental list of other lists & things I need to be thinking about (See that? A list of lists even. I'm hopeless!)--a list of fun activities to do with the kids this summer, a list of summer menu ideas, a list of summer projects, a plan for the flower beds in my front yard, and a plan for summer chores. I wish I was making lists of books I want to read and pictures I want to take. Those kinds of things just get squeezed into the cracks these days. Actually, I do have a list on Goodreads of books I want to read, but that is like a list for life, not just for this summer.

Finding balance is still the object of my existence these days, but I haven't been stressing about it as much. I don't think I'm any more balanced, but I guess I'm realizing that it's a process, and that's okay. I'm becoming more content with where and what I am (at least for the moment), and I'm learning to trust that if I'm keeping the commandments and keeping my priorities in line with the Gospel and the teachings of living prophets, I will have the experiences I need to have to (eventually) become the person Heavenly Father wants me to be, and the person I want to be. It's also been helpful to look around me at women I admire who are farther along the path of life than I am and notice where their priorities are and how they have lived their lives. Not that their lives have been beds of roses, I'm sure, but that they have become amazing women by doing ordinary things like raising families, and by working through ordinary struggles like trying to find balance in their lives.